I am not my thoughts..
I am my stories.
I think that I’m not a writer. I think that I neeeeed a coffee.
I was editing a podcast episode last night. It has taken me a few weeks to get to editing it. And it’s the first one I have edited even though I started recording them a couple of months ago.
It’s weird hearing your voice, but I’m kind of used to that as I’ve had to record and edit myself for years now. But what was odd this time is that there was no script and it was just me having a chat with someone else. So I started to notice how I don’t finish my senten…. And I overly laugh. And sometimes I go off on tangents for reasons I never seem to get around to explaining.
And then I heard my guest describing the first time she was told, “You are not your thoughts.” She said it was a huge moment in her life, where everything seemed to change and stay changed forever.
I already knew that I am not my thoughts, but I really needed that reminder. I was more gradual in my discovery of being more than my thoughts. The Headspace app helped me deal with distracting thoughts by practicing noting them and as if brushing them away with a feather, not trying to crush or avoid them, just returning to the meditation. And then I read a book on Positive Intelligence (PQ) which suggests giving a name to your sabotaging thought providers to help recognize that they are just thoughts and not you. Gerry the Judge has turned up with his ‘helpful’ opinions.
For many of us when we are at the top of a tower, on the edge of a cliff, or on a high rooftop, we have a thought about what it would be like to jump off. We don’t do it. We don’t want to jump. We just had a thought. We are not our thoughts and our thoughts can be quite disturbingly negative or judgemental.
Those thoughts are there to keep us frosty when walking in the dangerous wilds. Have a scary thought? RUN! Better safe than eaten. But the modern wilds don’t have the same risks and we don’t need to be so spooked.
Thoughts, however, can be difficult to ignore and are especially difficult to ignore if you think that you are your thoughts.
And so my thought of not being good enough to make a decent podcast is diminishing, all because I listened to my own podcast! Now this thought has been replaced with a story.
If I think my writing isn’t good enough then running away to make coffee won’t help me progress.
I am not my thoughts.
I am my stories.